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ADOPTION.   Term Paper ID:28336 Click to get this paper

Essay Subject: Psychological effects on adopted children; reasons for adoption, issues incl. "telling."... More...

8 Pages / 1800 Words 2 sources, 46 Citations, APA Format $32.00 Return to List of Papers

Paper Abstract: Psychological effects on adopted children; reasons for adoption, issues incl. "telling." Paper Introduction: Psychological Effects of Adoption Jerome Smith is one of the country's foremost experts in adoption practice. He is the author of best-selling books on adoption practice and policy and he played a significant role in evaluating the parent-child bond in the famous Baby Jessica case. He is also an adoptive parent. Smith argues that most adoptive parents share the same concerns for the psychological development of their children as do biological parents. However, he states that adoptive parents have additional concerns related to the fact of adoption (Smith, 1997, p. 69). Smith argues that the psychological effects of adoption on children will, in most cases, be a direct result of the parents' own psychological preparation for and adjustment to the adoption. He maintains that it is difficult to evaluate a child's adjustment to life Text of the Paper: The entire text of the paper is shown below. However, the text is somewhat scrambled. We want to give you as much information as we possibly can about our papers and essays, but we cannot give them away for free. In the text below you will find that while disordered, many of the phrases are essentially intact. From this text you will be able to get a solid sense of the writing style, the concepts addressed, and the sources used in the research paper. Basically, theparents claim the adopted child by informing others that they now have achild who is a permanent member of their family. Rather, it is part of a natural humandesire to understand where we came from so we can understand where we aregoing (Pavao, 1998, p. Entitlement involves the resolution of numerous psychological issuesby the parents before they can become adoptive parents. 35). Pavao notes that it is during early adolescence that adoptive parentsmost often hear the words "you are not my 'real' mother and father" (1998,p. Adopted children now come to understand that for their adoption tohave taken place, the mother who bore them had to have given them up. Furthermore,the child's behavior problems may aggravate some parents' unresolved issuesof their infertility and they may react by rejecting the child or becomingoverly protective (Smith, 1997, p. Thus, entitlement is a psychological task for the adopted child aswell the adoptive parent (Smith, 1997, p. 24). 32).Pavao contends that the most important aspect of the telling process isthat the child hear the word adoption from the person she trusts and lovesthe most--her parent (1998, p. During this time,the child is trying to establish her own identity, part of which Smithnotes is a family identity (Smith, 1997, p. However, the internal stages through which theparents pass involve their own feelings on whether adoption is the rightstep for them and if they are ready to take it (Smith, 1997, p. In particular, theymust be informed on how to make a choice that is truly right for theirfamily (Pavao, 1998, p. 16). In such cases, sheadvocates that the couple must seek counseling or consultation to workthrough their feelings about infertility and adoption and to educatethemselves about the adoption process. 75). 21). Also, Pavao notes that duringthis stage the adoptive parents must undergo what she calls"psychoeducation," where the parents are furnished historical anddevelopmental information about adoptive parenting. Some relationships require more work thanothers do and it is the parents job to work on the attachment process.However, some adoptive parents may feel embarrassed if there is not anautomatic connection and they allow their feelings of rejection and shameto prevent them from seeking professional help (Pavao, 1998, p. Pavao also notes that many adoptiveparents begin to address the issue of telling before the child is 8 yearsold. Clearly,any such issues must be resolved before the couple progresses towardadoption. For instance, although the right to parenthoodis legally recognized in biological families, adoptive families must gothrough a series of external steps and internal stages before they becomeparents. Pavao notes that there may be some cases where the child appears to beoverly adaptive for a length of time and attachment issues only surfacelater (1998, p. 7 ). However, she also notes that such statements merely demonstratethat the child is attempting to sort out internally their confusion betweentheir biological roots and their adoptive upbringing. New York: Madison Books. 76). As such parent-child conflictsbecome unmanageable, the parents may have uneasy feelings that the childnever was really "theirs" and that they are unable to properly parent thechild (Smith, 1997, p. 6 ). 32). 26). 32). 4 ). 16). A failure to fully resolve entitlementissues may also reveal itself in the adoptive parents' feelings of guiltthat the child may never fully know his or her genetic past. 21). Once adoptive parents adjust psychologically to theirunique situation, they can go on to tackle the other factors that interferewith their attempts to obtain a comfortable sense of entitlement (Smith,1997, p. Generally, theymust first recognize the differences between becoming a parent biologicallyand becoming a parent through the legalistic adoption process, which Smithmaintains is steeped in misunderstandings, prejudice and myths (Smith,1997, p. 21). 18). He maintains that it isdifficult to evaluate a child's adjustment to life without taking intoaccount the nature of the parents' adjustment in many areas of their ownlives (Smith, 1997, p. 52). Psychological Effects of Adoption Jerome Smith is one of the country's foremost experts in adoptionpractice. 3 ). Adoptedchildren may also begin to demonstrate control issues because they areafraid that their family will be taken away. The Family of Adoption. 52). Smith suggests that the adoptive parentstell the child that he was chosen to diminish the child's tendency to thinkof himself as unwanted. 26). Thus, entitlement is the end result for a family that has successfullyworked through their feelings of rightfulness to the child, which includesforming an attachment (Smith, 1997, p. 17). Smith argues that such cases reveal unresolvedentitlement issues. Entitlement issues will also determine the success of the next stagein an adoptive family: the telling process. He is also an adoptive parent. Significantly, however, Pavao notes that in many cases the issuesof infertility remain with the couple throughout their lives (1998, p. Thus, Smith argues that the most crucial factor in the psychologicaldevelopment of the child rests in the process of identification (Smith,1997, p. 93). Each person's search for self accelerates inlate adolescence and early adulthood, and this search can be problematicfor adoptees when basic information is missing or hidden. Nonetheless, she also notes that many people who choose adoption do sobecause they are infertile (Pavao, 1998, p. 93). 73). 76). He is the author of best-selling books on adoption practice andpolicy and he played a significant role in evaluating the parent-child bondin the famous Baby Jessica case. 15). Thiscan stir up feelings of not being wanted or of being undesirable within theadopted child (Smith, 1997, p. To the extent that the telling stirsup angry or resentful feelings because of unresolved feelings aboutinfertility or sexual inadequacy, the spontaneity and warmth recommended inthe telling may be severely compromised (Smith, 1997, p. Basically, entitlement is an extremely complexphenomenon whose success in each adoptive family is usually a matter ofdegree. One of the reactions that adoptive parents can expect from their childduring the telling process is anger (Pavao, 1998, p. (1997). The Realities of Adoption. Smithargues that during the resolution of these issues, the adoptive parents'attitude toward the biological parents is critical because they mustresolve any feelings they have of being threatened by or competitive withthe biological parents (Smith, 1997, p. Finally, adoption issues continue throughout the life of an adoptedperson (Pavao, 1998, p. However, as the child moves on into adolescence andbeyond, this sense of loss can pervade her sense of biological connections,development and life goals (Smith, 1997, p. Thus, for the child, this is thebeginning of a long process of dealing with the loss of the most meaningfulrelationship with the one person who is most responsible for his or herbeing in the world. (1998). Once they have resolved thefertility issues, they have to deal with being judged and evaluated by anoutside party as to their fitness to adopt. Generally, if the adoptive parents are stillstruggling to develop feelings of entitlement and are uncomfortable withtelling the child about an original set of parents, the child could respondmore to the parents' anxiety than to the content they mean to convey.Finally, through the telling, the parents must explain why they needed toresort to adoption in the first place. 17). 69). Smithargues that most adoptive parents share the same concerns for thepsychological development of their children as do biological parents.However, he states that adoptive parents have additional concerns relatedto the fact of adoption (Smith, 1997, p. Pavao advocates that adoptive parents must answer all the child'squestions at this stage as well as reassure the child that this family willnot be taken away (1998, p. Smith argues that the psychological effects of adoption on childrenwill, in most cases, be a direct result of the parents' own psychologicalpreparation for and adjustment to the adoption. In other words, many adoptive parents only develop a partial senseof entitlement, which is revealed in the child's behavioral problems laterin the relationship such as discipline problems, difficulty allowing thechild to become independent and individuated, or difficulty talking aboutthe adoption (Smith, 1997, p. Pavao notes thatthere is a great deal of loss in adoption, and feelings of loss oftenmanifest themselves as anger. She argues that the best way to deal withsuch a reaction is to set the limits for the child's behavior and thenteach her ways to deal with the anger (Pavao, 1998, p. 29). It is not only a loss ofthe birth parents' identity, but of an entire family history. 35). 65). Rather, it is characteristic ofall adolescents to question and even reject parental standards inpreference to peer standards (Smith, 1997, p. In particular, the pre-adolescent and early adolescent stages are probably the most criticalstages of the adopted child's psychological development. Furthermore, all adoptiveparents fear the uncertainty of the permanency of adoption, particularlygiven recent high profile cases in which children were returned to thebiological parents (Smith, 1997, p. 41). Smith argues thedegree to which children are successful in sorting out such conflicts isdirectly related to the adoptive parents' success in resolving allentitlement issues within the family (1997, p. She contends that many such peopleendure feelings of defeat and powerlessness about their infertility andtheir relationship as a couple may suffer (Pavao, 1998, p. 35). The telling process is a uniqueaspect of the adoption process and Smith argues it is a troublesome issuefor adoptive parents depending on the degree to which they have achievedentitlement (1997, p. 22).She suggests that it is important for people considering adoption to knowthis so that they are not led to believe that they will be cured of theirfeelings of loss and inadequacy by the adoption. Thus, entitlement goes beyond claiming the child to include theresolution of the parents' feelings of being different and/or inadequatebecause someone else could have been selected as a better parent. Smithdivides these internal stages into first "claiming" and then "entitlement."Simply put, Smith contends that claiming is a social process andentitlement is psychological one (Smith, 1997, p. 6 ). Essentially, the state in which the parents' reside creates theexternal steps necessary to ensure as much as possible the legality andpropriety of the adoption. A child's personality is developed by identifying with theparents' image of the child as one who is loved and as one who is to betrusted. However, at this time they are usually seeking information abouttelling their child and they want to sort out their own feelings andinsecurities before they talk to the child (Pavao, 1998, p. 17). However, theadolescent adoptee's questioning of his ancestral roots does not imply thatthe adoptive parents have failed the child. Entitlement is also linked to a person's self-image. 69). Pavao notes that dividedloyalty is a recurring theme for adopted children during adolescence (1998,p. Smith notes that an adopted child's process of identification maybe confused by the knowledge that he has birth parents (Smith, 1997, p.93), particularly in the case of a closed adoption where the child has noknowledge of his genetic connections (Pavao, 1998, p. Shealso notes that many heterosexual couples who can have birth children alsochoose to adopt because they want to or feel they can provide for a largerfamily through adoption. Social agencies tend to take a position of openness about adoptionfrom the very beginning of a child's life. 69). References Pavao, J. Entitlement, on the other hand, is more complex because it involvesthe parents' deepest feelings of their right to parent the child. Smith, J. Attachment is the relationshipthat adoptive parents have to develop with the child, and the child alsohas to develop this new relationship with the parents (Pavao, 1998, p. This limits any potentially traumatic experiencefor the child who suddenly learns of his adoption through the careless andinsensitive remarks of friends and relatives and provides the child withthe opportunity to integrate his "adopted" self-image into his thinking(Smith, 1997, p. Where a personalready doubts his worth as a human being, entitlement is harder to achieve(Smith, 1997, p. Smith notes that claiminginvolves making a lifelong commitment to the child with all of the rights,responsibilities and privileges that go with this status (Smith, 1997, p.16). They still must confront the task of dealing with thesocietal attitude toward the institution of adoption--attitudes thatemphasize the differences between the two types of parenthood and thatconvey only conditional acceptance of parenthood through adoption (Smith,1997, p. 34).Pavao points out that even with birth parents and child, attachment is notalways automatic (1998, p. 7 ). 26). Joyce Maguire Pavao is executive director of the Center for FamilyConnections and founder of the Pre/Post Adoption Consulting Team (PACT).She notes that adoption is often the first choice for single parents or gayand lesbian couples who wish to become parents (Pavao, 1998, p. However, adoptiveparents should be aware that an adoptee's request for such information isnot a rejection of their parenthood. Smith contends that parents who cannot have childrenbiologically must undergo a long process of mourning to resolve any issuesthey may have concerning their infertility before they address theadditional issues of adopting a child. They commonly instruct parentsto begin to tell the child of his adoption as early as possible in hisdevelopment and certainly before he enters school (Smith, 1997, p. Boston: Beacon Press. A feelingof entitlement refers to the parents' perception that the child reallybelongs to them but that, more importantly, he or she belongs to themunconditionally and perhaps even exclusively (Smith, 1997, p. 16). 52). 17). If this paper is not what you are looking for, you can search again: Search for: or Click here to request an essay written just for you.